I started watching a TV program on Netflix yesterday about a woman who wakes to re-live her 36th birthday over and over again after she dies an untimely death. A “glitch” in time is giving her another chance to make her life right and it had me thinking about my own life.
This morning I woke up to my own birthday and I identify metaphorically to the concept that every year we’re given another chance by the universe to set our lives right, with a restart or beginning of a new cycle. It all sounds about right? We’re on a journey thinking we’ve completed it only to begin another. But in reality we have never really finished the first. A friend pointed this out to me the other week as we caught up about all that was so-called “new” in our lives. “Flo, you’re still on the same fucking journey you were on 3 years ago when we were living in London.” Well he was right, turns out my journey is still the same, but my environment has changed, adding new challenges and insights.
So what now? I think the greatest lesson we’re meant to learn is the one of gratitude. I’m completely guilty in thinking “Once (insert new goal here) happens, my life will be so much better.” But fuck! The reality is, with this thinking, I never seem to be happy with my present circumstances. The truth is, on my 37th birthday, I never really thought I’d have the life that I have in this moment. I’ve always expected myself to have some amazing life where I would be “complete” or “happy”. Thing is, I am and I am not those feelings at this very moment so that end goal is arbitrary really.
In light of the above, instead of a RESTART, today is a day to RESUME the journey to live in the present and be grateful. With it being my birthday, Chinese New Year and a new moon in Aquarius, Let me speak of what I am grateful for today:
*I am grateful to wake up in an apartment that I have earned to live in through my own hard work and resourcefulness.
*I am grateful for a job that I was able to procure through years of experience in business and creative work.
*I am grateful for the love and support of my friends and family, who I always seem to be geographically separated from, but I can always count on.
*I am grateful for my loving boyfriend who I never thought in my wildest dreams would be the one I would choose to make a life with and would have such a strong influence on my future.
And most of all
*I am grateful for the life that I have created all on my own. Full of imperfections, and so me!
With Love, Flo xx